I get down....He lifts me up....

Listen to the song by Audio Adrenaline "Get Down". Goodness abounds. And I don't even like Christian music....

I feel like that is exactly what God has been doing in my life the last couple weeks. So much of camp this year has been shitty. I've come to the realization...well...actually....I got hit over the head with the realization that being a leader is being alone (which dear old dad has been telling me since i was knee-high).

I run Lodge Camp which means that everything that goes wrong is completely and utterly my fault. Even if it freaking rains outside, somehow I get blamed. And there is absolutely no encouragement from anyone. Boo on that game. After 3 hard weeks I finally broke down and let all my frustrations out. They are still there, of course, because the counselors have no idea what the role of being a coordinator really is, but I'm learning to get encouragement from elsewhere since the verbal encouragement doesn't exist. Definitely a hard process, but good for me.

There are those people who work here that hate authority and relish in bucking against the rules. It's the coordinators job to enforce the rules which means we get the backlash of people's anger when they get in trouble for breaking the rules. Some people are dumb. So, there is tension and division in the staff because of that. I definitely know of three people in particular who love to talk about me behind my back because they definitely don't like me and one other coordinator.

And then there is just the natural stress of the job. I get woken up at 5 am because one of hte campers wet the bed. I stay up until 2 am getting the next days activities. I work pretty much every weekend.

Wanna know what, though?! God definitely has me here for a reason, although I don't quite know what it is. I can feel he is teaching me things I'll need for whatever the future holds for me. It scares me a little bit, to be quite honest.

One amazing thing this summer was Journey Week (week 4). During this week, campers are brought in from a place called Center of Hope, a place for at risk kids. And we have a week of camp for at risk kids. These kids have a lot of behavior problems, hate authority, and put up the tough facade. And how much I loved these children. It pains me to see the hurt in their eyes and the frightened gestures. I kills me inside when a little boy of 8 years old tells me "I can't believe in God, Aunt Sarah. I just...can't." I love these kids so much. I really feel passionate about doing something for them but I don't know what. Week 4 has definitely been the most encouraging part of my summer. The first three weeks, not good, but week 4, God lifted me up using those kids.

I'm done with camp in 3 weeks and, I'm not going to lie, I'm pretty stinkin' excited. This weekend I'm going home (to Sioux Falls) to spend a real chunk of time with my family for the first time since the early parts of May and I'm ecstatic. My friend Niki (a counselor...one who actually encourages me) is coming with. We are going to Jazz Fest in Sioux Falls and shopping and just taking the weekend off. Mmmm....no thinking about camp too much. AND, I'll get to be with my family and cook for them. You think "not fun"...but it will be!

I must go now. Continue to pray for the Hills. Satan is now using sickness to try and push us down (I have campers dropping like flies!). We definitely still need your prayers.

I love you all a lot a lot and I cannot wait to see you!