longing my life away

i've completed my rough resume. and i've found about 10 places to apply. it's time to start leaving...

...although i feel as though i've already left emotionally. i'm just here physically. perhaps i simply crave change. a friend put it so eloquently (and i hope he doesn't mind i'm quoting his wisdom:

my theory is that if you can survive this phase of your life, you can
survive pretty much anything else, and you do seem to be surviving. Yes?
The one great thing about being a young adult I've noticed is that every year,
sometimes every month, something major changes and you get to try something new, a fresh chance to try and make life better, and eventually you find activities /
places / people you can love, even if it takes awhile!

brilliant.

i find that i am lonely most of the time. i'm not sure if this bother's me or not. i just know that the people i used to hold near and dear to my heart drift away. only one or two remain with the addition of perhaps one other person. maybe it's part of "growing up" but wasn't that supposed to happen during college? my biggest fear is that once i'm gone from these couple people, i'll lose them forever.



i feel most at peace on those lazy days, where your morning is actually afternoon and you can simply be. everyone smells like sleep, the room is comfortably warm, the smell of coffee drifts through the air and someone is making an omelet.. those are good days. everyone should have them more often.

today i "wasted" my day in bed, cuddled in my bright green and blue fleece blanket, and read a novel.